8.3.19 ━ it scares me how, when i couldnt breathe, my initial instict was to cut myself, and that that was what calmed me. something isnt right, im sure of it
8.4.19 ━ youre disgusting you stupid fucking bitch youre fucking sick sick digusting worthless useless whore i hope you die
8.5.19 ━ as much as i love others, i dont think i will ever love anyone as much as i loved them. it was such an intense feeling, im scared ill never be able to feel that strongly for anyone else, even if i love them with everything in me. its a sickening feeling. ━ i feel empty inside, im afraid my feelings arent real because i can never tell if theyre there.
8.7.19 ━ i keep saying too much, letting too much out, im starting to worry her. the last thing i want is for her to catch on because what if she doesnt love me then... if she even loves me as i am now. ━ i think they have completely warped my idea of what a normal relationship is or maybe its my own doing but its only clicking now that i wasnt like this before everything with them i can never make her happy, because what she wants i cant provide she wants to care and wants me to talk but its so,,, selfish to do that and the idea of her worrying about me makes my stomach churn i dont think im what she wanted, or what she was hoping for maybe i should just die, save her from having to deal with me any longer im just a burden, all i do is destroy people im a disgusting, evil creature i dont deserve love